Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
