In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize