All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's always time for handjobs
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
