Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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