I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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