You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
