I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
