it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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