why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
