Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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