Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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