He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
