people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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