Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
organizing the empties. That sober.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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