She's JV to your varsity
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
