We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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