Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
