I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
