That's when you crack a 10am beer
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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