Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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