i just google imaged poop.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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