I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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