I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
