He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
