I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize