I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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