I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
