i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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