BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
