I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
