Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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