He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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