i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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