I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
