I wish my penis had an off switch
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
