are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
