you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
