So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
