The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
