the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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