I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
