got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Randomize
