Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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