All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
