I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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