Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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