ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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