Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize