So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
