Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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