96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
