I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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