Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The power of my boobs compel you
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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