it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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