You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Randomize
