every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
