I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
