but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
