I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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