Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
