No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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