Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
