ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
