I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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