so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
