Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Two words: nipple clamps
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