her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
