is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want to be your penis for a week.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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